Underwear on the floor

Underwear on the floor. A heavy smell of cigarettes and sweat suffocate the room. You fucked me for the last time. “I’m trying to remember our first kiss and I just feel grouse. Maybe it’s from the fried eggs and the sour milk we had for breakfast. The last one. So tell me… when you press our rewind button what do you see? Wait, don’t ! I’ll tell you, you moron! You made me feel special, you brought me the goddamn moon, you never forgot my birthday for 5 years. We made love for thousands of times, we found name for our kids, I learned how to pee in front of you. I hate you for this, now I hate you more than ever. I have become the hysterical bitch you would never marry, I have become the frustrated woman that cries after fucking cuz she can’t get a decent orgasm. I would have put up with your nose picking, with your stupid boring fishing trips, with your nagging mother that always complained about my food, even with the black, thick hair on your ass. But you didn’t let me. I remember the first time you looked disgusted at me, after a jealousy scene. I made you sick and you made me feel sorry for myself, that kind of pity one has for the crippled beggars on the street. I’m standing naked in front of you knowing that even a cow would excite you more than I do. I’ll burn all the stuff you gave me because they remind me of my road to failure, of my “trip” from water lilies to brown shit. I had dreams, now I just want to take my pills and sleep so I can forget about the fact that I didn’t shave my legs for more than two weeks. I’m done with this and I want so much to cry. I won’t do it in front of you, I still have a shadow of pride. “ That’s what I told him and he was gone. And now the only thing left between us is the slamming of the door. And I cry.

by The Squirrel